When I told my mom that I wanted a professional woman as my wife, she got
me one; a Chartered Accountant.She uses LIFO method while taking out the
refrigerated food.
She thinks I am no good at figure work. Fine with me, for now she handles
the budget of the house. Initially she used to send me a bill at the month
end, but when I told her that I am not her client but her husband, she
asks for the money in advance. The expenses had been rising steadily over
the months, so one day I snooped into the papers maintained in a current
file. No wonder! She was charging conveyance and overtime to the house
budget. She is crazy, I tell her but she corrects me. No my darling, I am
the auditor. I fail to see the light. Every scrap of the paper in our
house is filed. She tells me as per some Ordinance she must keep a copy of
every thing for at least ten years before destroying it. I am worried.
The other day we had an hour-long fight. Later, I got to know that she had
charged that hour to a client of hers, in the time sheet. My time was put
down as unoccupied. She says that she says that she loves me and I tell
her that I love her too. However, she never believes me. She says that
there is susceptibility of it being a misstatement. Duh! She wants my
representation on this! Last year our house accounts got a qualified
opinion I had not kept the supporting etc. of my purchases. Not a long
time back my brother's wedding was to be solemnized. Wedding cards had
been sent.
After some time I started receiving a steady trickle of letters. I was
puzzled until my wife was explained that external evidence was more
reliable. She had called for confirmations from all those to whom cards
were sent.
When she cooks, my wife at times does not go by recipe. Where the recipe
says add half-teaspoon vinegar, one tsp black salt or one teacup of water,
she ignores them. She says that they are not material when taken in
context of whole meal being prepared.
She is crazy, I tell you. Surprisingly everybody calls her an auditor,
instead. I checked the dictionary and it did not state that auditor is a
synonym for crazy.
The dictionary must be outdated. When we got married, she had given me an
Engagement Letter and I Had said how cute-how sweet.Now she gives it to me
every year saying that her standards state that it must be sent anew if
there is any indication that I have misunderstood the objective and scope
of engagement. Huh! Apart from sending me the engagement letter once again
she says I can't get rid off her just like that. She says that she has the
right of being heard before I appoint some one else. It seems I must keep
reading one local and another English newspaper published and circulated
in the vicinity of our house for more details. Phew! For a minute, I
thought that we had jeopardized our going concern status. Duh! Dare I say
so??
I am told by one of my female colleagues who is married to a CA that the
scenario is even worse when the guy is a CA.
Apparently he capitalized the wedding expenses as preliminary expenses and
is writing it off every year.Also the time he spent dating his wife before
marrying her is still under consideration for valuation under
AS-26...valuation of intangible assets.
So guys please think twice....should u really marry a CA? and yes please
discount it by the appropriate rate to arrive at the present value of the
risk of doing so !!!!!!
